30 may...

everyday i feel like i m getting more n more alone ...dont know y ...i was a person who so easily use to trust others but now i think i cant even feel like talking to some one while assuming that he or she is sincere to me........

miss bhaktawar....
miss my mom....
miss uzma...
then confused with the idea that she used me n my emotions 4 her marriage....
then again cares abt her...
i used all my efforts ,contacts,energies ,love n care 4 her happiness n now when i need her she cares abt her personal life only ...wat the life think abt itself wat i m ...m i a toyy....
n abu he just cares abt her ,,...never bothered me....
i hate my too much sentimental nature...
i m a emotional fool
...bcoz ppl use make me fool through my emotions....
again missed my mom,...
missed my dadi
......
missed amna...
yyyyyyyyyyy
yy i akways miss others
.....
when the that day ill come when other ill miss me
....ALLAH i want my revenage from all of them...
plz let me die 4 4 ever...
so may be they ill miss be or may be its just my assumption they ill more happier after knowing that no one is here to bug them thiz much.......
i want to weep tooo loudd...
something hurts me a lkot
...i m not geeting it wat exactly it is...
i want to leave thz most rubbish world asap...
now its in ur hand u r supposed to be my best friend
...ALLAH i m talking to u
..............i think its good that i cant see u bcoz if i could see u may be it was hard 4 me to realize that u r not with me like others..... but u r not like others..
u never insulted me...
never disgraced me...
not even at my sins...
not even at my mistakes...
not even when i use to mis behave with u...
u r still giving me food...
money..
water...
breath....
thoughts
...ehsaas..
................
..........
y u r so different to others may be bcoz u r a GOD
...................

i think u ill forgive me again

........
now i m relaxed
......
a long breath................
.........
...
i want to come to u...
but when i put my knees down n try to concentrate on the prayer ...i cant feel like praying it well.............
yyyyyyyyyyy
...
i need peace.............
peace of mind...........
no hastle bastle in my thoughts

...i must mention it that ppl @ woek place r realy rude to me they insulted me i dont want to stay with thm do something 4 me plz find a good job 4 me...
plz

...ajj hi kuch keroo ALLAH...
PLZ ...
u know u r the one from whom i beg 4 my everythings..
desires,dreams,,,passions,,,,....n life
..........
i love abu ,uzma,haktawar n alll ...n his love is ur gift i know i m thankful to u 4 thiz...
ok me going my boss assigned me work so i have to workkk on thiz n that by him...


....i want to be a boss soon

.....
when i ill be a boss?

tell me

ohhh again one more wish i......