hey sorry for writing a blog after a long time the reason is that may be these days i dont define in btw what to do or what to do not?nways its gud that i m here bcoz i cant bugg the ppl all the time n make them listen to me with full concentration and concern....i dont knw why these days i use this word call ''concern ''bcoz i never find any one who is actually "concerned" with me all the time means watever i feel like talking and sharing some one cant hear me all the time everyone has his or her own life and a lot of things and joys rather than to listen to me which is just like to take a pill of ''DEPRESSION'' so i shouldnt aspect anything frm anyone right a way i should stop giving others a pill of depression.there are lots of things which i want to write i dnt knw from where to take a start but i m writing its just its again a mess in my already messy life i dnt knw y i awalys things abt y there is a glass on the table or y there is no water to drink etc these are just the examples .I think i shouldnt think too much but how can i always denny whenever my mind raise a question that ''y there is no one to take care of me'' y i wept alone for hours y no one have time to listen n own my depression ''y'' u knw i m all hallow its just bcoz i find the losted mother's love in every single relation whether its my frnds or anyone close to me i always feel like pampered .ohh i have just talked to amna mashal's lil sis nshe told me that mashal will come ack after one year i m feeling so scared of it yar how i m gona survive n y this happens to me whenever i come close to anyone that person went away y man ?y all the time this happens to me i dnt want to live in this ITSS ALLAH cant u do something cant u stop mashal going to canada u can do everything u can make reasons.i wish her best n want the best for her but i dont want her go away ....I m feeling a strong headache n i just want myself to be invinsible right now i just want to go somewhere else than this office n else than my home ....where i knw no one ...i dnt knw y i m living y i m breathing .......



...
i need to take a long breath
.....
i m suffocated...

......
i m sick...

i need a physcarist
......
i need to die....


...
where ppl cant hurt me ,,cant leave my hand..

i dnt knw ALLAH wat u have planned for my death but i want it in my own way cant u let me die while offering a poraying in khana kaba
....

i always thank u whenever u blessed me
n i have to

....
but listen i dnt have anyone else than ''YOU'' to ask for thing from a toothbrush to a cellphone
u have to manage all the things for me as u do n no doubt u are doing it very well i dont have to beg frm any one of ur ppl for anything i want
i just have to raise my hands to the max height i can...
...
n just have to say ALLAH u have to do this for me as u always do '''
i knw i m nothing i m very bad @ my religion n believes but u r the best u r the greatest u r the GOD ,u r the rehman ,the reheem ,the one who always gives,always forgives,
always bless ,always listen

.....
listen to me plz

i m again in this transs

cant u make me emotionaly stable
strong enough to keep something in my heart n mind n not to tell every single person around
...

i want to pray with full concentration

i need the peace
i need u

....
///
....

...

thx for being there for me throughout all the nights n days of my life i use to talk to u whever iwant to n u knw wat i cant hear ur reply but i can feel the peace n love that i m listened i m loved its u i luv u my ALLAh

N PLZ BLESS MY FAMILY
I M going to be a khala
i want a health n lucky baby boy for my sister
plz bless her with that
n of a long life
i want lots of happiness ,peace n weath for my family
n my father give them that
give waseem the best salaried job
n a long n healthy life
..
n give heaven to my late mom,my grand parents n the one for whom there is no one to pray after his or her death i m here to pray for those plz listen to me..

i know u have all the powers all the ways

....
n plz do love me more than ur ppl
u knw 71 mothers wala formula
lol

i need u //
luv u ALLAH

Are you fully present, in every moment?

I m sorry for writing a blog after almost three months.bcoz now mashal n mehwish are my blogspots.I can write over their hearts n the interesting thing is they aren't silent like u they reply me n i must say i love them.oh wait let me introduce mishi its not my mishi its mehwish no 2 .she is sweet but not my kind of person.i miss my mr poet ,my wasee.................................
In various situations this month I found myself explaining the important state of "being in the moment." This means choosing to be completely conscious of every breathing second, being mindfully aware of what is going on right here and now, in your experience—and this includes any thinking you do about the past or future. Being fully aware of this moment, right here, may remind you that your experiences do not always have this quality of awareness or consciousness. You may even realize you’re quite often in a robotic state where you’re not mindfully aware of what's going on. You may know on some level that you're unhappy but you probably don't realize most of the time that you have an option not to be unhappy.Sometimes while you are home your thoughts are still absorbed with solving the challenges you face at work. And when you are at work you find yourself worrying about problems at home. You may even go through the day without really listening to what others are saying to you. You may be hearing the words, but you’re not absorbing the message. When you’re not fully in the moment, you could find yourself involved in yesterday and tomorrow, and never even notice that today is slipping by. You could end up going through the day rather than getting something from the day.It’s important that you take the time to observe and ponder what is happening around you. Be alert. Be awake. Let life and all of its subtle messages touch you. Often, the most extraordinary opportunities are hidden among the seemingly insignificant events of life. If we do not pay attention to these events, we can easily miss the opportunities. If we were to metaphorically describe our lives as precious paintings, then wouldn’t you say each moment in our lives is like an invaluable piece of the grand painting? No matter how simple, complex, high or low the moment may be, it is still nevertheless a piece that contributes to the outcome of your grand painting. As you paint the grand picture of your life, every moment requires your equal respect and undivided attention.Let’s say you want to paint a picture to include a sun, some mountains, a stretch of green grass and a sea of water, but you’re having a tough time drawing the sun so you decide to scratch it out, or give it far less attention than you do the other elements in the picture. What do you think your grand painting will look like now? Realistically, without the sun, can the clouds still have a sun lit glow? Can the grass still be green as ever? Will the day be bright enough for you to enjoy the view of the mountains? Do you see how everything interrelates and affects each other seamlessly? And so it is important that you’re fully present and always aware as you paint the grand picture of your life. Hold your brushes firmly and paint all your moments well.Being in the moment is learning to be wherever you are—completely. It is developing a unique focus on the current moment, and drawing from it all of the substance and wealth of experience and emotions that it has to offer; it is taking time to watch a sunset; it is listening to silence; it is capturing each moment so that it becomes a new part of what you are and of what you are in the process of becoming. Being in the moment is not something you do; it is something you experience. When you’re truly aware of each moment, it is also no extra effort on your willing behalf to seize the question, How can I take this moment and turn it into something great? With this question in mind you’ll certainly recognize every moment to be pure potentiality of something greater than you can imagine, and it will be then that you master the art of—not just living, but living well!

i m just pissed off from office n home life.i owned some ppl there mr T hurts me by ignoring me this much may be i lost my worth .:( OH ALLAH just get me out of this thing .i dont want to learn HTML thing nor frm Mr .K neither from Mr.T
cant u send an angel to teach me....
do something God...

Stessed Out

I hate living without him . I swear its the most painful thing in the world!!! I had to do shitloads of work these days which has given me a bad headache. Mr. Capt is just too rigid and irritating at times. I mean, stop boasting of your professionalism dude. I need it not. I know what I have to do. Lord. Some people just get on my nerves. Wase left for kuwait. I feel alone. You know how my life dances around him. I mean, ok, I dont dance around him but my life sure does. Its amazing how much I have come to depend on him. Unconsciously. Then again, life is not half as thrilling if you dont take the risk of clinging to the heart of that one person knowing that many a great hearts have not been able to support the weight of love for more than a dreamy moment - what greater misery could there be than to have let go of the one thing that makes you divine. On the other hand, many a great men have lost their grip on the heart they so fondly clung to - what greater misery could there be than to have lost hold on the one thing that makes you invincible.I hope wase enjoys his stay in kuwait and will get good joB there IA. I do. But I miss my ... The world doesnt look beautiful today. Neither will it tomorrow and 6 months after that. I want my WASEE back. I want my wasee back. I miss my wase :(


last night he called him told me that the rents are very high there i m lossing my hope for happy life again dont know my mind is just blank. baboo is here frm mardan these days she wanted me to give her 1000 rs but i cant for GOD sake man how can i give her although i wanted to give her but i cant i got 350 rs in my bag i gave 300 to her n rest of 50 i kept with me i wish may ALLAH like this n solve my problems infact i knw i m not able to give any thing to any one its ALLAH's money but i wish may be he will listen more to me n yeah he listen me otherwise it wasn't possible for me to live...

well
uzma sms me that she is not coming to home as zeeshan bahi is not going to islooo i m sad i need my sister but i cant share with her i chaated with asim he is just like my lil brother last nite abu bakar teased me a lot i still luv him but i cried alot while chatting with asim ...

ok now me goota go now
cya

30 may...

everyday i feel like i m getting more n more alone ...dont know y ...i was a person who so easily use to trust others but now i think i cant even feel like talking to some one while assuming that he or she is sincere to me........

miss bhaktawar....
miss my mom....
miss uzma...
then confused with the idea that she used me n my emotions 4 her marriage....
then again cares abt her...
i used all my efforts ,contacts,energies ,love n care 4 her happiness n now when i need her she cares abt her personal life only ...wat the life think abt itself wat i m ...m i a toyy....
n abu he just cares abt her ,,...never bothered me....
i hate my too much sentimental nature...
i m a emotional fool
...bcoz ppl use make me fool through my emotions....
again missed my mom,...
missed my dadi
......
missed amna...
yyyyyyyyyyy
yy i akways miss others
.....
when the that day ill come when other ill miss me
....ALLAH i want my revenage from all of them...
plz let me die 4 4 ever...
so may be they ill miss be or may be its just my assumption they ill more happier after knowing that no one is here to bug them thiz much.......
i want to weep tooo loudd...
something hurts me a lkot
...i m not geeting it wat exactly it is...
i want to leave thz most rubbish world asap...
now its in ur hand u r supposed to be my best friend
...ALLAH i m talking to u
..............i think its good that i cant see u bcoz if i could see u may be it was hard 4 me to realize that u r not with me like others..... but u r not like others..
u never insulted me...
never disgraced me...
not even at my sins...
not even at my mistakes...
not even when i use to mis behave with u...
u r still giving me food...
money..
water...
breath....
thoughts
...ehsaas..
................
..........
y u r so different to others may be bcoz u r a GOD
...................

i think u ill forgive me again

........
now i m relaxed
......
a long breath................
.........
...
i want to come to u...
but when i put my knees down n try to concentrate on the prayer ...i cant feel like praying it well.............
yyyyyyyyyyy
...
i need peace.............
peace of mind...........
no hastle bastle in my thoughts

...i must mention it that ppl @ woek place r realy rude to me they insulted me i dont want to stay with thm do something 4 me plz find a good job 4 me...
plz

...ajj hi kuch keroo ALLAH...
PLZ ...
u know u r the one from whom i beg 4 my everythings..
desires,dreams,,,passions,,,,....n life
..........
i love abu ,uzma,haktawar n alll ...n his love is ur gift i know i m thankful to u 4 thiz...
ok me going my boss assigned me work so i have to workkk on thiz n that by him...


....i want to be a boss soon

.....
when i ill be a boss?

tell me

ohhh again one more wish i......

Invictus

“Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be, For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have winced but not cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance, My head is bloodied but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears, Looms but the horror of the shade. And yet the menace of the years, Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."Invictus," by William Earnest Henley

woman

What do you think about women? Some people don’t think a lot of them what do you think?‘Perhaps the greatest sin in the whole world, is to abuse the fact that a woman loves you. When a woman loves, she gives herself fully to you. She doesn’t care about a lot; all she wants in return is your love and attention. Give that to a woman, and you have the pinnacle of devotion known only to Gods. Don’t, and you lose everything, your respect, your dignity and her love. Think not that she is a slave. Just because she feels she belongs to you doesn’t mean she actually does. Her freedom is hers, and your rights are yours. To find a perfect balance between her freedom, and your rights is called marriage. If you give her respect, and treat her like a partner rather than a servant, you will find yourself in a place where there is someone to share your happiness, and someone to hold you when you grieve. You will find that there is someone who will help you through even in your toughest moments, often taking hardships on herself to protect you. She will take care of you and take care of herself. This is a task that many of us cannot even imagine. It is in feminine nature to see that all things are in order. If they are not, the adrenaline sprouts and takes over, until all things are complete. It is because of this trait that I respect and love the entity called ‘Woman’.

safar

Zindagi k safar mein koi rasta nahe deta, zameen wakif nahin bante falak saya nahin deta ,khushi or dukh k mausam sab k apne apne hote hein kisi ko apne hesay ka koi lamha nahin deta udasi jis k dil mein hou ussi ki neend urtii hai kisi ko apni ankhoon sey koi sapna nahin deta,uthana khud hi parta hai thaka tota wajood apna,k jub tak saans chalti hai koi kandha nahin deta….

birth

We are not born all at once, but by bits. The body first, and the spirit later; and the birth and growth of the spirit, in those who are attentive to their own inner life, are slow and exceedingly painful. Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth.....

My this birthday went kool and fine the thing which made it specail is 'the daimond wring"from a person who loves me the most I admit it that may be no body can love me like him....

thanks Allah for making me feel like a princess today i wish may i can feel this even after the death of my soul.......i LOve ALLAH ....He is the one WHO who always bless bless and bless i wish may my next year will go happily and I leave all my desicions on ALLAH as HE is the best to decide .......thanks 4 the making love in the hearts of ur ppl for me ad thanks 4 guiding me taking my hands into ur hands ....I want a gift on my birthday from you my GOD MY ALLAH...It must be ur endless love and blessings love u shooo mch muahhhhhhhhhhh
You the greatest and most benificial.....

THe Rehman, THE reeHEM

MAY my family live long and ppl around me will live healthy and wealthy life
ameen
happy birthday 4 me
I m sothankful to ALLAH @ my birthday

Realize..

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,A medley of extemporanea;And love is a thing that can never go wrong;And I am Marie of Romania. ........i wish i could be a "sandrilla"one day a prince would come and take me away from the world of grieves ,sorrows and pains....but its really hard to face when i opened my eyes and realize that i m not a sandrilla................REALIZE.............the most difficult part of the life is to realize .....i think the symbol of living is to realize ,,,bcoz who don’t realize are might be the dead bodiesor the live bodies with dead hearts and minds...................

Hate & Love

Hate and force cannot be in just a part of the world without having an effect on the rest of it..........The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.......when things comes........The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves................i dont know why i never hate a person i hate it .....even when i try to remeber all the pains and sufferings, hurts and thrones that person gave me ...but i could not n would not stop my self loving that relation.....why?our religion said ''a true momin cant get decieved by a same person two times...''but wat abt me who just made a desicion rite after a big''fake''not to trust others but again after few hours the hate suddenly disappears and only thing i find in my heart is love...and in mind i thought how can i help the selfish ppl ....yyyyyyyy should one bound himself for anyone..........i m realy glad to know abt the "american system"in which a father lived his own life and a mother's dont put her all efforts not for the child but for herself....and the same thing the child returns to his parents he just threw them in a old house...as when he was a kid n needded his parents the parents were busy in making their own lives...so why should he be there when they need him.....wat i think is that relations are like a mirror and when we dont use a mirror and dont cares abt it Gradually the mirror broke and the dust make it too blurthat we even cant see our face on it....so if we want a strong relation even with parents we should wash the mirror with care ...trust it that wat mirror is saying is rite.... and believe on ALLAH (THe rehman AnD ThE Reheem) who gave us the mirror...i dedicated this to Allah...love GOD love his creation

Difference

....There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

answers..

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day. ......................

Question?

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.....................................................

ahmmmmmm

ahmmmmmmm